Teen Testimony

Life is not fair. I think we all know that. It twists and turns without our help, and then seems to dead-end at times. My life is no exception.

Nick
age - 16, Florida, USA

I went through a very depressing stage in my life. I was unsatisfied with life, and disgruntled at the 'dark side' of the church (I'm referring to the hypocrites, the judgers, the condemners, etc., etc., etc.). To start off with, I was 'saved' when I was really young, like around 6 or 7. I didn't really know what it meant, obviously from the fact I went up for salvation 4 consecutive times before someone told me I didn't need to go up anymore. I lived a basic pew sitters life, I just came to church because it was what I was supposed to do to get to Heaven. Oh, and then there were those mandatory night prayers, that I caught every other week. Basically, my walk with Christ was poop-o, nothing, so that left areas in my life for Satan to attack.

Well, to start off with, I am not a conformer, I hate to be doing what everybody else is doing! And if I wanted to dress or act a certain way, I do it! If I want to frown, I frown! if I want to smile, I'll smile! Even when it stepped over the Religious peoples toes and inferred dressing up the wrong way to church. So, I naturally became the victim of much religious condemnation for who I was, and how I dressed. I really started to question Christianity in whole, because of these people who called themselves Christians, and condemned everything on earth that didn't tickle their fancy. After that, Satan started to really do his dirty work, first making me interested in the study and practices of other religions. Soon after, I had secretly ditched Christianity, and was doing a whole lot of soul-searching.

I did alot of study on the eastern Religions, and before I knew it, I was practicing with various forms of eastern divination methods. The art of divination got me interested in the study of the New Age, which was very fascinating for me at the time. I mean, there was so much you could do! Anybody who really looked at the New age would probably become infatuated with it. The New age led me to a study of the Occult, since I felt like the New age was a little spaced out, however you want to describe it.

A friend of mine was a Wiccan, so naturally I took on this "nature-loving" religion and gobbled up all of it's little wonders and beliefs. They believe in two gods, you pick whichever two gods you want to serve, and you were going to heaven no matter what, because they said, "all religions lead to the one true god, just like a road branching out into many other paths."

I soon became entranced with the modern and black magicks and moved my paths accordingly, away from the "good white magic religion". I rapidly grew my standing in these, becoming a 3rd Degree warlock (which is the farthest you could go without leading your own coven).

Throughout all of this, I had, I think I could call it, a "false filling", much like the opposite of "false hunger". I felt like I was filled for a time after I practiced my "arts", but deep down, my void was even bigger. I was getting sick and tired of everything, especially religion. I soon gave up on the Occult, especially after my parents discovering my involvement, and became an atheist. Nothing, it seemed, could convince me of a god or God. I called out to any god that would listen one night, shouting, "show me you are real!", but no answer was returned.

My all time low was when the melancholic disposition I had dealt with for most of my life, took an all time extreme with a dark, morbid depression that overtook my whole being, my life, all that I was. I had extreme surges sometimes, where I had attempted suicide twice. But I could never go through with them. I'd set the plot, a knife, and right before I could do it, a little voice, silent, yet screaming, said "Don't do it! This is not what is in store for you!"

This whole time, over this entire drama, I was going to church, simply on the fact that I didn't want my parent's to suspect anything, and also that little fact that they made me go. We were changing churches, and found this one that had a travelling evangelist that had just come. Revival broke out soon after. The people were really getting touched, and healed, and I didn't know what to think of all of this! I was like, God, if you're there, fill me up like these people are! I want this! If this is genuine Christianity, I need it! At that revival God moved in me for probably the first time in a very, very long time. He took away most of the hurt that I was dealing with, He filled all the voids in my life, and most importantly, He gave my life meaning! Most of all, he gave me a freedom I never felt before!

Sure, I still hurt sometimes, and I still have as many religious condemners as I did when I started out, but God has always been there to comfort and to heal me! I found out God is NOT a Religion, but He's a relationship, through his son, Jesus Christ. And it's an awesome relationship! I found out Christianity is not a set of rules, it's never been, it's a relationship with the person who shed his precious blood on that old rugged cross, on that place called Golgotha, the place of the skull, at Calvary, for my sins, so that I could be set free from all the bonds of sin on this short-lived earth, and have an awesome relationship with the one who has called me His own, and has taken away all the hurt, pain, and grief, that has plagued me through those senseless years of stupidity.

Real Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship. A relationship with someone who loves you more than anybody else does! He loves you so much, He died for you, He died so that you could have an awesome, fulfilling relationship with Him! But He didn't die for you to become a professional church attender, He died for you because He wants to have an active, awesome relationship with you. He died so that we could get rid of the sins that control our daily lives. And so that one day, we would join Him in Heaven, instead of a real, fiery, eternal Hell.

Sure, anyone can say "my God is an awesome God." but because of the awesome relationship I have with him, I can say it with all sincerity and passion, that "my God is an AWESOME God!" He is awesome, and you can discover just how awesome He is, all you have to do is ask for that relationship.

Believe me, this is the only thing that will give you true happiness. Other religions won't. The Occult won't. Drugs won't. Alcohol won't. Sex won't. Only Jesus Christ can. I know alot of people who've come from all sorts of backgrounds and situations, and they'll all confirm that they've only found true peace and happiness in Jesus Christ.